I am not really sure how to begin, so here goes. I have been struggling with depression for about 10 months now. About 4 months ago I became really depressed, almost suicidal. At this point, I don't know why, but I got an incredible urge to cut myself, so I did. It was not an attempt at suicide, but rather a way to cope with all of the negative emotions I was experiencing, and it worked. The problem was that I was having to do it more and more to get the same results. When I told my psychiatrist about this, he sent me to an intense therapy program for self-injury. I completed that in about 3 weeks, and now continue to see an out-patient therapist weekly. For the most part now I am able to control my urges, however, last week, I gave in and cut myself. It helped for a while, but then I started feeling yucky again. I know that from my past that once I start self-injuring, it becomes hard to stop again, almost like an addictive behavior. My husband is aware, and I hated seeing the look of disappointment on his face when I told him that I gave in (esp since I hadn't self injured since Oct). I have been fighting urges as hard as I can lately. I am a student, and I know that if I continue to self-injure and my school finds out, I could be kicked out of school...the school was nice enough to give me a second chance after they found out the first time. I was just wondering if anyone else has personal experience with self-injury and ways to fight the urges. No offense to my therapist, but I don't think you can fully understand unless you yourself have self-injured. When I was in the intense therapy program, I was with a group of people who were all there for self-injury, and the group was led by one counselor. I think I got more from the other people in the group than from the counselor. Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.