Great Truths About Growing Old

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make person gain five pounds.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.