((Tammy)) ((Doody)) ((Mistiis)) I love you too

It still hurts, I know it will for a long time to come. But, it isn't that gut wrenching, I am drowning, gnaw at you till you bleed hurt now. "My secret" has been unburdened. Last night was the first night that not only did I sleep through the whole night, but that I didn't wake up either screaming or crying due to my nightmares. I can't tell you what a relief, huge relief ... that was to me. I am sure I will have them many times again. The difference now is... I know there can be nights, without them. Yes, a major step towards healing I would say.

((Mistiis)) I took my "next step" today. The children live with me, so of course they know I throw up whenever it snows, and when I see it after a storm. (though not the real reason why of course) We got 10 inches last night............perfect snowman snow they told me. Kids, they deserve not to be weighed down by adults problems. They wanted their auntie to go build a snowman with them like I always have.

So................... I bundled up, and faced the snow. I threw up, I can't help it. I am not sure how long this will last, or how one can reverse such a reaction. But kids, they are such good medicine. Such joy for ones soul. My nephew just tossed some snow on it, no biggie, lets make that snowman! ...
And we did And, it was fun!!