Yes it's very "crappy" what she's done to me. I've tried not to keep emailing and calling but I was worried when she didn't answer. We've been through so much together and spent many nights online on IM crying our hearts out to each other. I thought we would be friends for life and we had many dreams and goals and we striving to reach them. I've never told her about the BP diagnosis just for that reason. When I'm hypomanic I try to avoid everyone because I don't know how I'll react in certain situations. Of course, at the time I didn't know that's what was happening. I get confused and hurt very easily anymore with my crazy mixed up emotions and I try not to be a burden to anyone. So I hide, or retreat or whatever.

I think it's over. I just found out a little while ago she has me blocked on IM. Before I could "see" her online almost 24 hours. Now it's been 7 days since she's been on and I wondered what was happening.

I have an email saying how I feel but I can't get the nerve to push that darn send button. Because when I do I'll know for sure it's over.