The wheels as I said earlier fell off-----My Wife---Number 2---For my friend Nea ---Who I was a terrible friend to-----

Anyway---The wife was taking inventory of my Meds-----The dipstick lowered my Oxcy to 5 mgs---Which to some may be high---To me---6ft---Still a large man---5mg is like crushed ice---------So I missed my Christmas Eve--Christmas Day-------Any real time I may have seen with my kiddos---This was the 1st time I have seen them since Oct my Birthday---Because I was so miserable racked with total pain----Mr Dr---Did this without our Knowledge---My wife Balances everything around me------She works for the DA-----And we um need that job badly--------But she is my nurse--friend---Takes care of the chores--the animals---Washing me ETC---I know too many here can relate---So that snuck by----But why? Honest accident or malicious-------It marks when the wheels did come off------

For the little one here I wanna be strong----------But I can not deal with this BS----I wanna be positive----But I need to be comfy until we get some answers---Then---Maybe the answer is keep him comfy---Maybe it aint---

Love you folks----Sorry I can be a downer and a poor ungrateful friend-----Any I crossed---Please except my heartfelt sincere apology----I mean it----

You girls can teach this Deputy how to be strong....... Me----I can brag about the past----You can teach me to enjoy the now-----Hopefully I can fix the Doc situation before I am left with zero meds and too much pain and withdrawals-------And IE---I worked closely with the drug atticks withdrawing in the Infirmary-----I was always ready to do my job------But prayed with the men---And did what I could--------May the Universal Spirit keep that into account--I do not wanna be one of them---Lord NO!!