I am still on medication over my bf's suicide which helps some but I can't get it out of my head. I still have his last messages saved on my phone so I can hear his voice. I think about hanging myself too so I can go and be with him. I don't understand why he has not shown himself to me or talked to me. Where is he? I was raised to believe that when you kill yourself you go to hell so I have a lot going on in my head. I look at his pictures daily and I miss him so much. Can I please get some feed back?