BLADDER ISSUES!!!!!

Help!!! Please, what do you all do -- mainly women who are spms and in a "chair" all the time??? Currently I'm taking oxybutynin and the LDN helps somewhat......in the past I've tried enablex too. However, being I can't feel those muscles I don't realize that I have to "go" until it's too late. Even when wearing the latest in disposable underwear, it's not enough to hold back the flood when I stand up. This keeps me from going places, like to a mall, out to dinner once in a blue moon or to an up-coming concert I'd really love to go to. For men they have those little "baggie" things, but what's up for us?? Also it's a big problem when I'm sleeping. Even if I don't drink any fluids anywhere close to bedtime, you'd think I'd had a case of Pepsi before sleeping!
I thought with so many with MS, just the opposite was true. Why is my system so odd?? Many MS people deal with constipation -- nope, just the opposite most of the time. Any suggestions??
Thank you all for being there since the docs don't seem to have a clue where this is concerned!