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dorrie · 12-30-2008, 11:45 PM

Today has been a hard day. I had an awful sleep last night as I was up choking up yuck most of the night. I got motivated a little later than I planned this morning as well; We all went up to hubbys parents place on Monday for christmas...I had to leave early in my car with Saff as she had a supervised visit with her mother. As I drove the 2 hour drive home I was having a hard time staying awake I was so tired. This has been going on for weeks..not just since I quit..I have had a terrible cough and it only seems to be getting worse so I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I am pretty sure I have pnemonia...I have had it before and this feels alot like that minus the high fever. I am having a hard time with alot of stress right now and being so darned tired is not helping it!! I need a good sleep but every time I lay down there is so so much congestion in my chest and I start to choke. I woke myself up wheezing loudly last night several times. Also, the patch is drying my mouth out so bad that it only takes a few minutes from when I have a drink and bam ..I am coughin again! I am tired and uptight all the time...
tonight it all got to me and I pulled my patch off and lit a smoke outside. I only had a few drags and then came back in...I went back out with a tea and lit it up again..I was enjoying my tea but choked and choked and did not enjoy the smoke at all... I do not want to smoke but the stress got so high..to boot I am diabetic and my sugars are out of control due to my cold and cough and my doc is trying me out on a new med that I do not find works well at all....my sugars are always really high. I feel like *****. I put my patch back on because I know that I want to quit. I am going to finish up here and then take a pop off my inhaler and cozy up to my brand new pillows and try to get some sleep.
Sorry all you supportive friends....please do not give up on me...I need my cheerleading squad!!!!