Hey Crickett! Just hang out with an empty bottle (plastic) of vodka and give them an wink and a smile!
When I had Cushing's, I would bruise at the drop of a hat so we used to joke about it a lot - as I used to commute and just being on the subway and bus would render me rather black and blue but I would tell people that my hubby, well...
Thankfully people know my hubby is nice and I am known for humor...