I’ve spent the last couple months letting it sink in that I do have MS. I remember saying I may have MS but MS doesn’t have me. Guess what, I was so wrong. MS does have me.

The worst is the emotional roller coaster. I can't seem to get my head together. My emotions are up and down. We’ve tried Paxil which didn’t do anything. Now I’m taking Effexor and I’m starting to see some light.

I seem to function alright at work, but at home it's very different. I am making the effort this year to reach out for support to get myself back. I tried to do it alone, but it's not working. I also never tried to get help as I feel like I'm just whining all the time. I’m very independent and proud and don't like to ask for help, but I realize now I have to.

I had to go to my neurologist Monday because I started bruising all over especially at the injection sites, around my eyes and my gums started oozing. I’m also flaring big time right now, numb legs, chest pain and my vision is all smoky.

It's a side effect of the Copaxone so he is taking me off. I thought I was doing so well with the shots and had no major side effects. I am on IV Solumedrol to cut this flare. Then we are going to try Rebif but also talked about Cytoxan and Tysabri.

I’m just feeling so overwhelmed and alone right now. I’ve never belonged to a forum before so it’s all new to me.