NeuroTalk Support Groups - View Single Post - Empty nest is filling up again, for a little while.

FaithS · 01-03-2009, 07:40 PM

Update on DD, empty nest, new BF, etc.:

DD will be home for about another week. Then she'll leave for TX. She says that the project there will be only roofing, and that it should be complete by the end of February. Then, MDS will send her somewhere else, location as yet unknown. She was home for almost a month; hard to believe it's almost over.

Relationship with new BF is even more serious than I realized.

Yes; she's planning to be his date at a wedding in Canada in August. She is also planning to take some time off in March to go visit him and to visit colleges up there. She's known for 2 years that she planned to attend college in Indiana. Is accepted; has all her financial aid (academic and other scholarships) in place (except that we still have to fill out the FAFSA again, for federal $).

She knew this guy for 28 days, dated him for 2 weeks, and is ready to consider changing plans that she's had for 2 years.

Seems like a nice guy. I don't have a problem with the relationship in general, or with him, specifically, at all. My concern is more that she will think through what she really wants to do, and make a decision that she won't regret down the road.

i dont' think that he's trying to influence her, but because he's older, and she's "head over heels", she appears to me to be very vulnerable to his suggestions, even when he is not trying to push her.

They are talking about their relationship as permanent. Marriage, not immediately, but down the road. How can she know that, after 2 weeks???

She's usually got a good head on her shoulders. I'm just doing tons of praying that whatever she decides will be best for her. That she won't be unduly influenced by either me, or by BF. I'm doing whatever I can to help her in the application process for universities up there, so that those options can be available for her, should she decide that's what she wants to do.

I grew up in Canada; married an American, live in KS. I've been far away from my family for 25 years. Although I kind of think it's cool that she fell for a Canadian, I really don't wish to be far away from family for a second generation too.

Also, he's talking about eventually doing mission work in Thailand or India. Wow. That's further away than Winnipeg, huh? If DD marries this guy, and also feels called to do that, I wouldn't want to hold her back. But, it would be so hard to let her go.

~ Faith