Dear Junie I have been contemplating how to reply to all of this. Your situation is overwhelming. I come from a large family as welll. And am in the giving mode. It is not always appreciated. And I have suffered many times for it. But i try very hard not to let it bring me down. But this ususally takes a lot of work on myself. I figure that in the long run I will be the one to benefit even from the adversity. Because it will teach me how to be a better, and stronger person. The bitterness is a phase to work through. When you come out the other end, there is a greater peace because you quit giving your personal power over to them. I hope that makes sense. You do have to stand up for yourself. That is a virtue to learn. There is a fine line between doormat, and martyrdom. You are trying to work through a very difficult situation, with extrememly difficult emotions. Please keep coming here and posting, and we can toss it around, and you will learn how to cope in a way that is best for you and will eventually bring you some peace down the road.