Thanks for this post Alffe. I have alway liked Richard Cohens views on the real world. I recently spent some time with a good friend of mine who is unable to walk due to MS. She is a recent widow. Her husband found out he had cancer and stopped taking all his meds. They lived separately in the same house. She found his decomposed body. They rarely communicated and she rarely saw him because of her MS, she rarely ventured past the kitchen, he lived in the opposite side of the house. I spent a lot of time over there and was at her house while he was dead in his room. I was by her side when his family of 9 came (he was the oldest of 4 boys, one already had died, and he had 7 sisters) and talked with them about their brother's last weeks. Since her husband, she has not only had to go through all his belongings and deal with all the paperwork, she has made 2 trips over the holidays to Ohio to see her parents-her mother is dying ol liver cancer. She looked good (that what people all say about people who have ms-we look so good) and we talked about our lives and what we'd been doing. There was a silence and we both said at the same time-adjust and adapt.

I looked at my life when I got home.One of the things we both had in common was our situation at home. We both lived with our spouses, but we both live alone-she had been living that way for a long time. I had been going to counseling during all this and finally have learned to accept things that I can't change about my husband and find peace.

As Addy said, my life isn't perfect and I live in a real world, but I'm starting to love who I am and count my blessings every day. I am thankful for NT and the people I have met here who are helping me be learn about unconditional love. That's what keeps me going.

I know this post is long, I have started it and stopped it several times in the past, but after reading this post, I wanted to share where I was coming from when I came to NT. Thank you all for helping me in my journey to make peace with my life.

Group Hugs to everyone and doxie kisses to all,

Doxie