This is so hard for me to share. After about 4 months after Mark committed suicide I wrote a poem to my dad. I never showed it to him but I wrote it. Now in hind sight maybe I should have, maybe he would have loved me.
He Lost His Only Son
He sits with his arms wrapped around himself
Rocking back and forth
Repeating your name as he sobs
What can I do?
He has lost his only son
“I am still here, I am still your child!!”
I want to shout out
But he doesn’t care
All he wants is you back
And as much as I would give my life for yours
I cannot bring you back Mark
I was going to say more but I can't right now. It's too painful for me. It brings back horrible memories of how much my mom suffered. I know my mom saw this and I think it's what sent her over the edge.
The surgery went well on Thursday and I didn't get home until after 9, then I feel right to sleep. I do have less pain in my back, not totally gone like they had hoped but less. My knee is so painful. They gave me Vicodin this time and so far no nausea.
I went to PT yesterday and it's awful but I have to do it. They took a pic of my knee before they rewrapped it. If you're squeamish don't look.
I wasn't able to decorate for Christmas this year Alffe but I did put a hat on Hooper and took her pic. Sorry it's so crooked but it's hard to do on one leg. Poor thing is pooped out from giving me doggie kisses all day.
And yes Alffe, I'm so glad it's over. And I've missed you too
