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SurvivingMSwithHOPE · 01-10-2009, 02:23 PM

I am so sorry so long.

To my Dear friends,

I have been gone quite awhile and lately have had emails and PM’s checking on me and words cannot explain how much they mean to me. I will try not to make this a book. The past 6 months or so have been h**. In June I went into the hospital with a flair, the worst yet. My vision test at the time, as my doctor put it, I was legally blind. The ON was so bad I wanted to pull my eyes out.

My parents of course rushed here and while they were here I learned they had not been getting all their medications. They were in the “Medicare Donut Hole”. Their meds are so expensive and I guess they pay so much and then it is out of people like my parents on fixed incomes to pay for them. Having my own ElderCare business, I know how the system works and felt like a butt for not picking up on this before. I also found out my Dad was making sure my Mom had her before buying his. So I set them up online with CVS and WAL-MART so I could monitor and make sure they got what they needed.

I had noticed that my Dad’s feet were very swollen. I said Dad, aren’t you on Lasix. He said yes. He wouldn’t let me take him to my doctor, so I made him promise me to go to the doctor as soon as he got home. So, he went and in went in the hospital in July and was found to have Congested Heart Failure and had to be put on IV Lasix, and Solu-Medrol. I thought was just for MS people! His blood tests were all messed up and kidney function bad. They did an ultrasound and found he only had one kidney! All his life he didn’t know this.

Well, for some DUMB reason, a lot of doctors don’t make hospital visits anymore and depend on “hospitalists” to be in charge of their care. Well, they got him to a point he could come home and the idiot sent him home on 120mg of Lasix. He would be on oxygen 24-7 and with the oxygen he told me he felt better than he had in a very long time. But I took him to his regular doctor for some blood work and she called later that day and said get to the hospital. The overdose of Lasix had dehydrated his kidney, a term they use, “Dry Kidney”.

At this time they also found that his heart was only working at 20% and a heart doctor came in and said he needed an IUD..defribulator that he was at risk of “Sudden Death”. I said WHOA, why are you just now finding all this out….one kidney, heart not working right. I talked him into it, and he asked my Mom what she thought, since she is a retired RN. I started making plans to move back home to take care of him and help my mother. I felt very guilty taking care of other people’s parents while my own needed me.

I know this is becoming too long, so after a few more issues, he seemed to be doing OK. But the Saturday after Thanksgiving, he was fine then was gasping for air, 911 had to be called and they had to intubate him in front of the house. He was taken straight to the Critical Care Unit. A lot more happened, but I lost my father, my best buddy, on December 4th.

I’ve just returned home and have been dealing with all his affairs since I was his POA. I am so depressed and now know what true heartache is. I feel so guilty about a lot of things, so anyway that is why I haven’t been online. I’ve not even checked my personal email until recently and Becky, Robin, Nancy and Vonn, thank you so much. And Snoodles, in my huge stack of mail from being gone over a month, the highlight was your Christmas Card. Thank you all so much, if I left a name out, please forgive.

I love all my friends here and I have missed coming here, right now I feel guilty if I laugh etc. I am in a big flair again, but refused the hospital, he gave me a huge steroid shot, and going for another Monday. He did the vision test before he agreed and they have done this so much, that I have the letters memorized. Thankfully