This evening, I feel like I've discovered something that might mean that I've lost my best friend, my rock, my emotional centering friend...

and I want so so much for it to not be what I fear at all.... but I can't stop the fear.. and the incredibly deep sadness that such a thing would cause me..

for even if I am mistaken, even if I'm reading too much into it... It makes me realize how hard it would be, how impossible it would be, if my friend were to die and be gone forever.

I don't want to be left totally alone in this world.... even tho I know it is the fate of many of us. It's not fair.

Teri