I'm right there with you Momma. I've been in this bad place for awhile and I'm trying really hard to pull myself out of it.

My pastor gave a really great sermon a couple of weeks ago and it was like he was talking right to me. He was talking about going on a caving expedition and the guide was leading them from the big opening of the cave into smaller and smaller parts - alot of places where they had to crawl on their stomachs. The only light was from their flashlights.

They got into one room where it was about 3 feet high and they were really cramped and uncomfortable, but at least they weren't on their stomachs and the guide told him to go over to a hole in the corner. He had to turn off his flashlight and tuck it away and the guide told him to drop down through the hole in the floor. He said he just hung there by his arms for a minute and then dropped down. He said he dropped down about 5 or 6 feet and his feet splashed in some water and the guide yelled down and asked if he was OK and told him to turn on his flashlight.

So, he yelled up that he was fine and he turned on the light and was stunned by the beauty of this huge room he landed in. He said it was spectacular and there was a huge underground lake. He would have missed seeing it if he hadn't trusted his guide enough to drop out of the uncomfortable room into this one. He could have just settled for existing in that cramped space that wasn't so bad, but by trusting his guide, he found something so much more.

He went on to say that we can feel so trapped by our circumstances and troubles that we are afraid to move past the place we are in because we are afraid of being in a worse place, but that is the very point in time we have to trust our guide to lead us to the big beautiful place. I feel like I've been in that small cramped room for the last couple of years and I'm working up the nerve to let go and fall through the hole into the better place.

I hope this all made some sense to you because I don't feel like I did his sermon justice, but it really spoke to my heart and I wanted to share it with you because it feels like you are in the same place as me right now.