Nolina,
I hope communication will help, somehow a worakable agreement is there for both of you.

You have your hands full, I don't know how much or how close this friend is to you to really see how the pain affects you. His compassion for your travel, actually should be as caring as if travleing wiwth his ill brother. How difficult it would be for his brother to travel to him. You God bless you, may not have cancer, but you have a pain that eats away at the strength and creates pain many could not imagine.

If he knew when he got on a flight he would ahve a migraine, the head would feel such pressure, then it would make his neck stiff. It would hurt to hold his ehad up. So when he arrived at his distanation he would have to take medication, rest, maybe even end up at a medical clinic or ER if it gets so bad. Then traveling would be not so high on his list for himself.....

It seems that the wonderful man may only be so understanding to a woman without health issues. It maybe already that he expects you to "look" OK so you can freely travel. My heart has broken as I watch my daughter lose three relationships, because as they say her disabilities are not a part of the life they invision.

The young men wanted to pick up and travel, seek out hiking at the last minute, with a bed roll on the ground, get in a car and travel for 6 hours to the ocean. They felt she could "look" ok to do this, and when it was so difficult, the fellas eventually bailed.

Once she moved to Rehoboth for the summer, rented a home with a fella, all into each other. The expectation that she would work and pull her half of the relationship. I knew it was unrealistic, but what does a mother know.

In trying to do that, She worked as a hostess for JR Ribs, she ended up in the ER twice in two weeks and missing several days of work the next week.

He screamed, called me to get the lazy free loading *^%&^# out of there. Her pain scales were off the wall, her hands clawed, face dropped on one side and all he say was wasted weight he had to carry.

Some keeper he turned out to be. I was 6 months pregnant with my youngest and had to drive 4 hours there, pack a U-haul and move her back as the police could not help. It was a rental of his parents...

I am so glad that was the end of their relationship though, no marriage, nor children. It wasn't the end of those types of "keepers" that turned into warthogs.

If they could not see beyond the outside picture of of a whole body to the torment of the broken one underneath, there was never going to be compassion, understanding, acceptance of ER trips for pain control, of loss days, or even a true deep concern for the pain of his love one.

As a married woman to a man I knew my whole life, I cannot show my pain, I do not let them see when I hurt, what they see are " I must be being lazy", undone chores, huffs and puffs when they see something undone and have to do things their self.

The traveling is so difficult for my daughter, I am OK, I accomadate myself and do fine, however, I know after our trip to Orlando last month I will no longer take my daughter on a plane. That will be our last trip, she is not able to travel. Yet she says she wants to go to Paris or England, a boat cruise or even to California......dreams. I understood her pain and still couldn't handle the flare from her.

Before we left the ground, people on the flight were bothered by her walking about, she complained loudly of the seats at the back of the plane, no room to move, this was only the first flight. She was so bad that before the fight took off the flight attendant wanted to put us off as she was unfit for travel.

That is scary, like being on that show Airline where they take people off the plane.
Sorry to not paint a pretty picture, but your young man has to have a reality check of what life is going to entaol as a whol, the bad with the good.