I can't, my counselor who rx'd my meds left town and I am waiting to see the new P-Doc who "might" take over for me IF we click in March when my appt is set for. I have 3 refills on my meds so I am set, but I just worry about the cardiac concerns, I have been getting weird feelings, almost painful in my chest and I think it's anxiety but who really knows? One thing I am scared about is the new P-doc NOT wanting to RX me Lorezepam, this clinic doesn't like to rx benzos, and I definitely NEED it for anxiety attacks. Nothing else works for me. I talked to my regular dr and he might be able to help IF they try to stop me from taking benzos, he said there is a non controlled substance alt. but I can't remember the name...

I am having a real rough time this week, I can't write a pitch letter for the AMazon contest and I am feeling indequete as a writer because of it. Last night I was crying and so upset about it I wanted to give it all up. Because I just feel like I will never make it in this field, especially if I can't compose a decent query letter. I have read books and stuff on them but I still can't DO it to my satisfaction. So if I could I WOULD give up writing, it hurts too much to stick with it, I mean I couldn't stop crying last night and went to bed with a heckuva headache. All because I don't have faith in the writing of a stupid letter that you have to have for each and every book if you ever expect to have anyone get interested in them.

I really hate writing these letters and when I have posted them on the writing board I go to the feedback I get is not encouraging. It basically tells me I suck at writing these darn letters and without them I have no hope of ever selling a novel.