Thanks (all of you) for the help and kind words. I really thought I was prepared, I knew deep down it wasn't an injury - I searched my whole house for what she could have hit her eye on (he said blunt force trauma initially - so I was on a hunt).

Before I left I kept saying to my friend/caretaker (God bless her for moving in, whole new topic), "It's not an injury, her eye is turning grey and then blood red..I see something in it...the medicine is making it worse" and so on. Soon as he said tumor, cancer, eye loss, and all of that I didn't know if I had a seizure coming or if I had real nausea for once.

It seemed to not hurt her which is why I questioned an injury, she was fine up until today since, well, her eye is sewn shut and it looks so painful. Ugh, I hate seeing it, I feel horrible. She's so ****** at me. She is associating me with eye drops, forced pills, vets and then I left her with a man who sewed her eye shut. My boyfriend wouldn't even put her drops in tonight saying only one person needed to be the bad guy.

I'd give anything for her and I don't wanna be the bad guy.
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