Hello Meg,

Nice to meet you. I saw your thread bump up earlier tonight but before posting i wanted to catch up... that took me a while, you can imagine. i am physically a bit under the weather still so it took me a good couple hours andthensome.

In other places in the thread you have mentioned being sick of things and having a "very short list" of alternatives...

Believe me i know how exhausting living can be. I had my first really bad depression when i was your age, and messed up in a lot of respects because i didn't "realize" there were solutions. I didn't withdraw from school i flunked out. You are aware of some of your issues already, where i sort of just took mine as inevitable. Anxiety is a real btch because it puts the brakes on us from being proactive. Take one step at a time.

As has been said before in your thread, sometimes it takes time for the chips to fall into place. uncomfortable time, painful time sure, but things can get better.

Please don't give up.

And if you start making short lists of alternatives, please remember that suicide is PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. Just about everything in life is temporary. Moods are temporary. About the only thing that never changes is change itself. I read that you dislike change, but change can and will get you out of the crud you are experiencing.

Now, as for your health insurance... how do you get along with your boss... would he give you a good reference? if you can't get more hours there, what about a job at another pharmacy? you would come in with experience. Also you would get a fresh start with the whole hours thing.

I can't help feeling that you are somehow getting the short end of the stick there. It may be a question of being assertive enough, but you have asked for what you needed. also it doesn't make sense that after working extra shifts they would cut your hours. Do you know why they did this? Could you confront your boss with it... simply ask him plain and simple... perhaps adding that you would actually appreciate more hours because you would like to get health insurance from them, but your budget wouldn't allow it with the hours they have cut you down to - it is a very, very reasonable motivator. And EVERYONE needs health insurance so it would not be odd your asking.

Have you talked to your school counselor again? I wish you would. He sounded like someone you trust. He said he would take you on privately at one point... I would talk to him and see what he suggests for you. He might be able to help you make a plan. In person. Then you will feel more in control.

I hope you are feeling a bit better by now. The one horrible thing about mood swings is the unpredictability. But the good thing about them is the "upswings." I hope you have had some relief and were able to feel some happiness.

Please check in when you can.

~ waves ~ an oldie just recently returned.