liked your post, Junie. Haven't read many others as neck is too sore for computer use. Yet here I am!
The only ones who can appreciate chronic pain are fellow sufferers.
It is a waste of time explaining it or trying to get understanding from "normals."
You can see them switch off like lights in a power failure.
For then to feel anything, you have to look ill. If you look OK, then you are-that's how they perceive you.
I'm often amazed at how differently I can be and yet no-one notices or makes a comment. Talking can be difficult, so even though I may be very quiet and not participating, the rellies just go on with their own conversations and ignore me. Used to it now.
There was a 'funny' occasion a few years ago when I went on a trip with them on an ex school bus that one of them owned ( and for which I paid the cost of an engine rebuild). My wife didn't go.
The long days of travelling-they wanted to be out as much as possible-eventually took their toll and my headache started one night. I explained that It was very sore and went off to bed.
Here is the good bit.
The next day they all trooped off, right past my room and into the bus for another day out.
Not one came in to see if I was OK or needed anything! I heard all of their chatter. One did ask where I was and the reply was that "he was up earlier and went to the toilet."
And that was that.
Come 5pm and they all rolled back in. This time their consciences must have been bothering some of them as some of them came in to see how I was. Even brought a few gifts.
I was very, very annoyed and disappointed. They were all well aware of my neck and back problems for many years.
I'm only related by marriage. But would they have treated one of their siblings the same way? I cannot imagine that they would have gone away in the same day if one of the elderly sisters had not emerged form her room.
So that taught me a good lesson about how others see you.
You really have to cope on your own, though hopefully a partner would be able to be sympathetic.
These forums are a great place to tell your story anonymously and to vent a bit, which I think is very important.