Oh, Tammi, it takes so much strength to ask for help and support, and I am so glad that you did. We love you so much. And pain is a terrible animal to live with constantly. And, unfortunately, the meds like neurontin, do interfere with our ability to function. And when you have a lot of people depending on you, that becomes a factor. But, there does have to be a balance. Or you will eventually go down, and not be able to help anyone anymore. Yes, take a Xanac when you need to. I know its hard to do, and that you don't want to, but, sometimes, it is just necessary. The stress levels just get to be toooooo much!!!! And we need some extra help and the emotional rest that can come with it. I don't know what meds you are on, so I can't really help there, but please feel free to pm me anytime, and I will offer what I can. I do have some ideas on some natural things that may help you, that I use. Just let me know and we can pm each other about it. Hang in there, and I am sure you will get some more support from your loving family here... leaving you lots and lots of ssss and prayers. BTW, I deal with fibro and arthritis too, as well as back and spine problems, so I do have some understanding of it. luv u bunches dear friend.