Alffe, thank you for being a lifeline, you really are! Just when I felt totally alone, I decided to get out of bed and check email after a month. I really thought I was going to delete a zillion spam email (I did), but in the midst of all that junk mail, I found a little jewel of an email.

Sadly, family and friends do know how I am, and the last time I talked to them was Christmas. I haven't seen my sister in 3 years now (Mike's funeral), but I come from a family of "don't tell", and I've been scolded more than once over the years for bringing topics up that they put under the carpet, and am told to "deal with it", they just don't understand and I can't expect them to. They have told me that they have never been depressed more than a few days in their lives. How did I get the sad gene? Ahh, another thread that I should post my thoughts on (geneics vs situation).

As Dr. Drew has said, "You are as sick as your secrets" and I need to get better.