Quote:
Originally Posted by waves
Please talk.
Write what is going on.
In your head, outside your head?
|
more then i could possibly put down in one sitting, it hurts my head and makes me dizzy to think about all the things I cant control
Quote:
Originally Posted by waves
Are you in touch with your aunt?
|
not anymore, shes starting to behave like my parents and think my panic attacks and anxiety issues are made up and fake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by waves
Have you called your counselor?
|
no i feel like im not allowed to call or talk to him cuz im not going to classes this semester so i feel like id be stepping over my bounds in contacting him and i feel like if i just pop back up out of no where he'll question me about all this stuff and i dont wanna deal with it all at once
Quote:
Originally Posted by waves
keep reaching out, here, and also with them.
Are you still with Mike?
It sounds like *something* has all of a sudden set you off... or built up and exploded...
Please, post more words. What is happening, Meg?
~ waves ~ |
yes im still with mike, he was there the other day when i had a panic attack on his bed and he didnt know what to do. he just kinda tried to prop me up, but it didnt help because i get even more dizzy if i stand/sit up, so it took him a good 20 mins to realize i needed to stay lying down or hunched over.
everything is happening.
i have no health insurance which is one of my biggest worries.
i feel like im getting strept throat but theres no way to get anything for it or get checked out because i have no health insurance.
i cant call out of work because i wont have enough money for gas to MAKE it to work.
i have a vacation planned to disney world in may (my happy place, straight up. i feel like i could never ever have a panic attack there, i went for a week last year and i have never been happier/more relaxed/more calm then that week)
i owe a lot of money still to pay off my vacation, and im fearing for the worst that ill have to cancel it.
people keep telling me its stupid im going to disney and i could use that money for something else and in a sense i agree, but im not trying to sound stupid but the trip will save my sanity. like, whenever im feeling anxious or upset i think about being in Disney and riding Big Thunder Mountain, or lying on a hammock on the beach at our resort with Mike and not having to worry about whats going on 1500 miles away because it doesnt concern me. its like one big dream when im there, and people always say "wow, im surprised you dont have panic attacks @ Disney with all the people" but i dont. because in all honestly i dont
notice the other people because im so caught up in my magical getaway that even the lines dont bother me.
i dont even know.
i feel like my body is doing things and my mind is prisoner to what my body wants to do...wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, repeat repeat repeat...
its endless and im tired of it, instead of moving on down the road of Life im stuck in a rotary....
get me out of here.