Good to see you posting again, Xie.
I've been away a lot the past year or two and I decided to read your older posts to try to remember.

I know this might sound like a silly question, but have you been able to see a counsellor or somebody since last year? The fear about leaving the house thing, well I know how bad that can be and it's not good 'cause the longer it goes on the worst it seems to get. I think some of us get that 'sad gene' you talk about and then it's compounded by mountains of situations piled on top of that 'sad gene' and it all is too overwhelming. Overwhelmed is how I get when I have trouble getting out of the house (apart from when I feel physically ill I mean). I wonder if you were able to overcome that fear in particular, then other parts of your life would get better and that you would find life kinder?

Just wondering. I wish I knew.

thinking of you.