Hi (((Xie))) don't believe we've met. I just recently joined NT, but am not a stranger to our friend depression or what it can do. I also understand 'fear' and what it can do. Not being able to get out of the house is a big factor. But, I also know, that it takes some good things working for you for you to be able to accomplish that. Coming here and sharing your thoughts and feelings is a good start. I know that even that can take a great deal of energy when one is in the pit. Having just come out of one myself I fully understand that as well. Sounds like you have been through a lot. So it says a lot about you that you are still here and fighting. I don't care about what those family members of yours may say, they just definately haven't been 'there' well, good for them, but those of us who have that 'sad gene' know all too well what it takes. We are here for you....