First, let me say, Nikki, I really like what you posted in the thread that Tammi started. Because, that is reality. I remember very well caring for my father at home, with no outside help. He didn't want it either. And he needed constant care. I watched my mother slowly ebb away from the strain of it. She was his primary caregiver and I had to step in. I wanted to step in. I became responsible for many heart-wrenching decisions and giving care as well. I moved in with them and left my own immediate family during times of crises. And I was not in good shape myself. I had had major surgery that was complicated. I was in a lot of pain from that and back issues. And I had very little pain medicine. But, I can tell you that I could not have done it without at least that much. There is only so much you can do without physical consequences. But I feel like you three are much the same way that my mother and I were. You will do it anyway. Because your love is great. And you will find the strength. My marriage fell apart just months before my father passed away, and I moved my children and myself in with my parents. My mother and I, and one sister provided all the care for my father. It was soooooo hard, but, as I look back on it, what I cherish the most are those few quality moments that I shared with my father that I couldn't have gotten any other way. My siblings don't have that. And I cherish it. I don't care how hard it was at the time, and it was. I did get through it and you will too. And the love that you have and share at this time, despite the hardship will be something that will carry you as you continue to walk through it, and beyond it. Will that make it easy now? No, it won't. But, I hope to give you hope that down the road a ways it will all be worth it.

And, yes, those baths are what got me through too. I had many of them. And that was my time away. And the pain medicine when it gets so bad that you can't function, it is necessary. And when you need the Xanax, or whatever med like it that is perscribed, please take it, it is necessary as well. That is what it is for, emotional rest from that huge strain that is on you. And it doesn't mean that you are weak, in fact, quite the opposite. It gives you that emotional rest, which is soooo necessary.

Pono, I know it is hard to watch your father go through all the confusion. It is from the medicine, and the illness itself. I watched my father have major seizures and it was soooo hard. When the cancer spread to his brain, it made it even more difficult. But, somehow, God will give you the strength, and what you need. Please don't deny yourself any little bit of help that you have. Every little bit counts, and will give you what you need to help your loved one in their sacred journey. And you will have a treasure the world can never take from you....LOVE...I love you, my friends, and you are never far from my heart, or my prayers. I do understand