NeuroTalk Support Groups - View Single Post - A week ago the Hospice nurse gave Dad 1 week

Twinkletoes · 01-28-2009, 05:06 AM

I assigned the trigger icon because this post goes into detail about my Dad's cancer and current condition.

Dad is 95 and was dxd (because of swelling in his armpit) with lymphoma 2 months ago. The cancer doc assured us that it was a slow-moving type. Dad declined the weekly Rituxan infusions. The doc supported that decision.

So, with the encouragement of my 2nd brother (who lives 100 miles away and promised to stay in touch with Dad) I went ahead with my vacation plans and was gone from Dec. 31st to Jan. 11th. We got back at 3 a.m., so I slept in, then called Dad. No answer. Called and called, but still no answer. I had spoken to him from the airport the day before, so I knew he didn't have plans to go anywhere.

When I arrived around noon, he was lying on the kitchen floor, unable to get up. He'd been in that predicament for 3 hours.

I got him to a seated position, leaned up against the refrigerator, then called for help.

That was 2 weeks + 2 days ago. I've been living at Dad's house since then to care for him. I'm not much of a nurse, but Hospice is a huge help.

Before I left, I tried to introduce Dad to "Citizen Kane", but he insisted he didn't need a cane. He fell down while I was gone and my daughter encouraged him to use a walker that we already had. Two weeks ago he could use the walker to go from his TV chair to his bedroom. Dad just lies in bed now and I take him occasional drinks and soft foods when he wakes. He's too weak to even bring himself to a sitting position w/o help.

Fortunately, his pain level is much better than you'd expect for someone who has cancerous lymph nodes "too numerous to count." And they are HUGE! Cup your hand slightly and put it over your heart. That's the size of one of his swelled areas. There are others, plus the ones that are hidden from view that make his breathing labored and cause issues with his bowels and swallowing.

The Hospice nurse said a week ago that she only gave him 1 more week. We had considered putting him in a nursing facility, but he would have HATED it! I think Dad keeps hanging on because my oldest brother and his wife arrive tomorrow from Texas. Bless his heart, he's sure been through a lot in a short amount of time.

I am writing this to unburden myself and ask for your support. I haven't done it before because I just barely got internet service here at Dad's place.

It's time for my dear Dad to go. I pray I'm not alone in the house with him when he does. He's lived a good long life and I'm surely going to miss him. Mom passed away over 2 years ago, so I imagine she'll be there to greet him. I'm thankful that he hasn't had to linger on for weeks/months in agony.

Thanks, friends, for letting me unload. I appreciate your prayers -- they bring me a sense of warmth and comfort.