For the last four hours I have been in the miserable state ofsevere "off" that had become almost daily and definitely each evening. It had been getting worse and worse for the last couple of years. "Progression". I thought.

But this was the first time in a week that I had experienced it. It has easily been two years since I had a week like this. I had adopted a behavior last week that I had stuck with until this morning when I violated it and found myself back in the old familiar territory.

This morning I ate three cookies of uncertain origin without testing them first and an hour later I was helpless. Both events were "firsts" for the last seven days. I think I know the cause and will explain momentarily, but first I have a confession.

I have converted to Kinesiology.

There. I said it. I am out of the closet.

For those of you who don't know what I am rambling on about, kinesthetic muscle testing is out in a region I have always described as the "Fringe" or, sometimes, "LaLa Land". It just didn't fit my paradigm.

KMT is based, at least in this case, on the idea that if you hold a sample of food close to your body that your energy field will react to it. If the sample is bad for you, your muscles will weaken and if it is good for you they will not.

Totally outside my usual belief system. Weird. Silly. Off the wall. One problem - it seems to work. At least for me.

So, for the last week I have been limiting myself to only grain products that I could test as a way of avoiding the toxins that come from molds that sometimes contaminate them. Since I am self-conscious enough not to want to test in public, that has meant avoiding grains in public. But this morning my bank had a small spread of cookies laid out and I succumbed.

I will continue to experiment, but there is something to both the toxin idea and the KMT. And I am not ashamed.