Thanks everyone for the hugs and help. Alffe, I know I’ve heard that “lecture” before, in fact I’ve given it to myself. Moi, hi there, I know everything that is said is said with a great deal of care and compassion here. Curious, thank you for your kind words and understanding, means more than you know.

OK, progress report, I picked up the living room a bit (cleaned glass tables, etc) then decided to try to pick up the master bedroom, what a dust bowl. Vacuumed, dusted and just tried to tidy up a bit around here. Also threw out a bunch of books, old magazines that I have no place to put anymore. When the kid was here he went through Michael’s office. I wanted it done, but I wanted an idea of what to do with the stuff first, not just rip it apart and move everything out. Now it’s just piled up in the living room in boxes haphazardly and I still have to go through everything to see what’s in each box.

This physical stuff exhausts me. Probably because I’m taking as good of care of the house as I am of myself, which isn’t much. Now doing little things makes my heart pound and raises my pain levels even more. I feel guilty about this sniveling, something that I try hard not to do. We were raised to “suck it up” move forward, never to be discussed again. Personal things were just not discussed, let alone with strangers.

Thank you again and may hugs, I’m going to make some mac and cheese so I eat something.