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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Earth (I think)
Posts: 780
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Earth (I think)
Posts: 780
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And she's back. 
Can I just say I am deeply, deeply humbled by the amount of caring toward someone (that would be me) none of you have ever met in person. Thank you doesn't begin to express my gratitude. Nothing can.
The quiet snap scared the holiest of carp out of me because it never happened that way before. That first and his family's history made me not have a clue what was coming next. I'm lucky I knew my name then.
I still don't know what to expect but I am very, very cautiously optimistic. According to our pastor when we are spouseless and talking to him (pastor) alone both of us say we want this to work out. DH did admit that to me in the presence of our pastor. I reluctantly agreed to return to counseling only after hearing that.
We are scheduled to counsel once a week although Pastor says ideally it should be twice a week. Pastor doesn't think it would work with our different schedules but I'm wondering if once a week is too big a risk to take. We were warned things could get worse before they get better especially if we only counsel once a week. Worse means divorce in my book. I can not continue to live like this.
Pastor's own marriage is a been there done that story and he has counseled others like us before. He insists he sees a lot of hope for us. I see a quickly fading sliver myself. I'll let the door open wide enough for hope to walk in but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for it.
I am being as careful as I know how. When DH is around I live short spans of time to short spans of time. I'm still planning to meet with a lawyer and prepare for a life of solitude. I am very tempted to have divorce papers drawn up for this spring/ summer. Will ask the lawyer about that. Some pastor counseling sessions may make me change my mind on that one too.
As crappy as my marriage is the rest of my life remains very upbeat. I'm still over the moon with joy over my job. I absolutely love what I do. I'm still very excited about trying to make some dreams reality, and life with my kids. I hope this puts your minds to ease at least a little bit.
Keep us wrapped in all things good. No matter what happens I'm gonna need it.
Work went well this morning and now I need to get some groceries and a kid from school.
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Later, JustWeave
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12/02- health world implodes, 11/05- Raynaud's (Brr!), 2/07- celiac, 3/07- gluten free diet
I will survive.
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