Thread: Talking frankly
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Old 01-31-2009, 07:33 AM
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Alffe Alffe is offline
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Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik-key View Post
((David)) I hope I have not offended you in my post about how to cope with my emotions after my Dad's suicide. It was not my intention. I also hope I do not offend you when I say I feel in the example that you have given, the person who did not show up for the date was rather selfish. Yes it was their choice to make. But it was not a choice that took into account anyone else’s feelings. In this example a simple phone call could have saved a lot of unnecessary hurt.

Suicide isn't as easy to deal with. I certainly wasn't given any choice in my Dad’s suicide.
I try not to judge anyone. I am not God, it is not my job or my right. I do not judge anyone who has thoughts about suicide. I know everyone has their own battles they must fight.

Having said that, I do however believe I have a certain right, every right, to question my Dad's choice. My life has been completely destroyed due his choice to kill himself. His act affected every single aspect of my life. So though I can not possibly know what was haunting him that day... I know what is haunting me now, and I am sure it will until I draw my last breath

This is what makes this forum family work. We each bring with us our own experiences and knowledge. We can see the war from both sides and hopefully through sharing we can reach others and save them from the hell we each know.
Asking WHY??? How could you do this? Asking it over and over is part of what survivors have to go through when our loved ones make this choice.

Trying to relearn this language of suicide in order to help people live with the results of being left behind is difficult for me because old habbits die hard..."choice" is no longer a desirable word to use. ~sigh Saying we "lost them to suicide"...they were overrun by depression..lost them to depressive illness...or they couldn't feel our love due to depression...as I said before, a suicide by any other name is still a suicide.

And we are the ruins of that decision. It takes a very long time to find reasons to live...it takes some of us longer than others. But that is what survivors have to do...we have to try to make sense out of a senseless act.
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"Thanks for this!" says:
Addy (01-31-2009), barbo (02-03-2009), GmaSue (02-01-2009), mistiis (02-01-2009), Nik-key (01-31-2009), pono (02-01-2009), reyn (11-27-2009), who moi (02-01-2009)