Maybe my pdoc that I fired hit a nerve when he said I don't know how to grieve. No I don't. I tried to decorate on Sunday and everything I pulled from the box reminded me of my mom so I put it all away. I went to the mall thinking that would put me in the spirit and I got angry. I thought how could everyone be so cheery. I know this is selfish and I hate being like this but the pain is real and I can't do anything about it. I'm angry at myself for being like this.