Thank you all so much I knew I could count on you all for support.... the ship may be going down, but you know your friends are right there with their life boats! Such a wonderful feeling

I just am not ready, I feel blindsided! I want to make sure I am not being selfish, that HE is ready to be in a nursing home. He still knows us some days, he loves his home and he loves our dogs. In truth, he will miss the dogs more than me! I don't know, I feel like in trying to save me, I am letting him down. Every part of my mind and body is screaming, uncle.. you have had enough!! But IS HE ready?!

I have been mourning his loss for years. In my heart I am a widow. This man is not my husband. Though I do know my husband is gone and placing him a nursing home IS the right things to do..... part of me feels I need to protect this poor lost soul. The infant trapped in this Alzheimer’s hell....... damn but I hate this disease!

I know every single thing each of you said is true. I know it!!! And yes Angel friend of mine, it is just another step... but its a doozy!!

March.......... I have been thinking about that since the call came. I truly don't know how I am to survive next month. I know I will, but I am not sure how. I miss Dad something fierce. Right now I am thinking Damn it Dad!!! You should be here to help me through this!

I am a wreck,.... I do want to spend time with my Mom. I want to spend time with my family and friends. I have been a prisoner to Alzheimer's for far too long. I want to find myself, I want to find time to heal, and I want to be happy again. All things each person is surly worthy of... so why do I feel so damn guilty? sigh

It is the time frame. It is just much too soon! I was planning on a year. I know it would be just as hard a year from now, but I would have had more time to get use to it As my favorite saying says about plans.. "if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans" How true huh? Curious, I DO believe God is much smarter than I! I will try to remember that while we are making our choice.

Alffe, you are so sweet, thank you for all your support this week..... as for his sister, she feels now. And all her reasons are valid. His son, (the co-guardian) was hoping for more time at home. But we haven't had much time to talk. He is suppose to call me tonight. We need to come to an agreement, so I can call them tomorrow.

Yes - right, isn't always easy is it? ACCCCCCK!

Thank you all, so much!