I think it'll make me happy. For some reason right now tho, I'm feeling like crying right now because I still miss TinyMonsters so much. It still seems like it was just the other day that he up and died on me.

I dont know if that's some weird emotional thing that the MS causes (what's the term for that...emotional liability?) I cry for sad or cute commercials. I'm not sure what's setting off the tears right now.

I was talking about the puppy with my dad a few minutes ago. This might be one of our last chances to get another Bouvier, and probably the last chance for getting one from Tiny's breeder. (she's older, doesnt breed her dogs very often. It's been 10yrs since she bred any of her dogs)

The thing that's making me hesitate is the MS...and my parents health. I wont be able to let my mom hold this dog's leash when he gets older. (Tiny had pulled her down once and she broke ribs when she slid into the fence as he dragged her across the yard chasing the neighbor's lawnmower)

My mom does not have the judgment to know when she cant handle something. (Like driving, or holding a leash that has 150 pounds of dog on the other end)

She's also got bad knees, a bad back and chronic pain. My dad has a heart condition...and he still works. So, it's going to be up to me to be supervising this dog during the day. Good thing I believe in crate training.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get used to having a curious little furball running around, eating my crochet projects and my knitting needles.

I really LOVE dogs, and bouviers in particular. I loved owning the one I had. Best dog ever. I really miss him. I'm kind of worried I wont like the new dog if we get him because he wont be TinyMonsters.

If we get this one, he better be healthier than Tiny was. I had to take him to the doggy ER so many times...and he always decided to have his health problems at 3 and 4 in the morning.

I just hope my dad doesnt rush me into making a decision. I know if I go see this puppy, I'm coming home with it.

What is intriguing about the puppy, is that I loved training Tiny. It was fun...and the idea of training the new puppy to possibly be an assistance dog (if he's got the right personality) kind of sounds like it could be fun to do. Since right now, I'm mobile and still capable of doing the work of the training. (it could end up being an assistance dog for my mom tho)

Right now I'm really tired. (not sleeping well lately) and the idea of bringing a puppy in here feels a bit challenging. Especially if the puppy is as young as Tiny was when we first got him. I have pictures of him being 8 weeks old (current dog ordinance rules say that a puppy has to be 12 weeks old before he leaves his mommy)

up to 12 weeks is "Fear Stage" for dogs. I dont want to scare him or get him into any bad habits that I cant break because of him being a young'un and too little to come home with us. (the breeder pretty much made us bring Tiny home so young, because she had 8 other puppies in his litter, and 6 other nearly adult bouviers in her house)

I think I'm going to go take a nap.