Thread: OT: I need to talk about Lynn....
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Old 02-13-2009, 06:44 AM
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Nik-key Nik-key is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
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((Sue)) such a beautiful post .. thank you They wont allow me to stay with him, there isn't room. It is only about 20 minutes from home, so I could visit him as much as I felt he needed, or I needed.

I know several of the nursing homes I visited thought I should stay away for the first week, possibly two- to make the period of adjustment easier for him. I know part of that is because I seem to be the target of the aggression. This nursing home has no policy, it is up to you. I don't want him to feel I am abandoning him! But I also want to make his adjustment as easy for him as I can. I think it is one of those things you just can't know until it happens.

See the thing is I had this all planned. By 6 months time I was going to have a bag all packed for him. I was going to blow up his favorite pictures for his walls, get him a couple of stuffed dogs, some of his clothes and his favorite painting of me... I was going to have it all ready for when this call came. Much like a woman packs a maternity bag in advance. So much for plans huh? Course I could still stick with this plan, but is that the best thing?

I just don't know....I am torn.

I like your day to day theory. Thank you It does seem so final doesn't it. I told my best friend, I feel like I am putting another nail in his coffin. I know it isn't true, but .... I am going to try your theory, see if it can settle my stomach down.

His nurse will be here at 9, I know she wants to talk to me. I also know she thinks it is time. The other reason she is coming is to look at Lynn's bed sore. I only found it because he had a bad bathroom accident and I had to help him clean up. He HATES this, he will not let me help him bathe. When I saw that bed sore, I burst into tears. I WANT to care for him, but he wont let me. I keep thinking if he was in a nursing home, they would have known....

Perhaps when I put all of your kind thoughts, the "experts advice" and what I know all together, it will give me strength to do what I know I should. I keep thinking, you will never be ready! And if you pass this up, you will just go through all of this again... sigh
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Last edited by Nik-key; 02-13-2009 at 07:07 AM.
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