My mother began drinking to access in her early 30's or earlier and really screwed with her children's heads.Especially my brother and 1. Spent 40 odd years telling us she drank because of what we her children and ex huband put her through. This February went into hospital and it was explained it was due to the drinking.Got out after 6 months because they said she was as physically ok as they could get her.2 weeks later she'd taken to her bed again and has no intention of getting out of it. My brother is staying there because even carers 4x a day are not enough for her. She nag the **** out of him.
Last couple of days she's latched onto the fact that it doesn't say 'cirrhosis' in her care notes but something begining with A and that several of the carers have said the occasiobal drink or two wouldn't do any harm.
Even now there's no guilt for the fact she's got two emotionally well and f***eed in the head sons thanks to all the psychological/verbal and very occasionally physical abuse.
Both of us have sod self esteem and coping mechanisms that are shot to pieces.
Of course the psychiatric profession being dumb****s combined with the fact she was good at disguising it from people outside the family never knew how much it had all screwed things up till i pointed it out to them in big black letters after years of hoping the penny woyuld drop in their low IQ heads.
You go through years of nobody noticing just how much it has screwed you up and being told you are awkward and demanding and troublesome and how if you want to you can 'change the error of your ways' like you are a criminal or people jumping down your throat on forums because you are crap at dealing with situations but nobody stops to think how much pain you are in how worthless you feel,how so much of the anger etc is self bravado to hide the confusion and fear or how very hard you have tried to sort yourself out because quite frankly the care and the compassion and help has been virtually non existent.
YES i'm the son of an alcoholic.All hope of much better things
ended years ago. They now understand better and care a little better but it's all too late.It's all about containment rather than progression.
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