nik,

day by day...one step, one day at a time...

and if when Lynn goes in and you find that it just ISN'T for the BOTH of you...

there are always other ways: another place, bringing him back home, hiring someone else to help...of course, all within your resources...

will you beat yourself up? Of course you will. But that's OK as long as you don't let it eat at you until there's nothing left. Will it be sad? Of course it will, as long as you don't let it shut ALL your doors...will you want to tear your hair off? Well, there's always hair club for women and you can be the president (OK, joking...)....

all those are going to be HUMAN emotions that you'll be going through...just don't let them get you to the point that it will shut you off from the world...

(btw, I am not telling you anything that you DON'T know for I know you know all that I've mentioned...but sometimes, it is good for all of us to have a reminder... )

I love what Anne said: "Nobody blames you Nikki, in fact many of us are astounded at the wonderful job you have already done. Many of us are questioning ourselves.... Wondering if we could function at the same exceptional pace as you have."

it's true...

right now a skipping stone has been thrown to the lake of your soul and it is rippling...let it ripple...when that ripple ends, the lake will be calm again...let that stone skip for now and follow that ripple...it'll end..sooner or later...

as for your sleeplessness...well, I have just what the doctor ordered..

LOOK UP!!!!