There are a couple of ways the Social Security Administration pays spousal benefits and divorced spouse benefits. Spousal benefits can be paid if the AGE or child-in-care requirements are met. Divorced spouse benefits can be paid if the marriage lasted more than 10 years and AGE requirements are met and the divorced spouse is currently unmarried (some remarriage exceptions can apply). If the marriage lasted 9 years, 11 months and 29 days or less, then no divorced spouse benefits can be paid. No spousal or divorced spousal benefits can be paid if the wife (in this case) is eligible for more than 50% on her own Social Security record.

You state they have been together for 30 years, so she is probably in her 50's, not yet age 62. Hopefully she was legally married for the entire 30 years and not relying on common-law marriage to protect her rights.

If the marriage lasted over 10 years AND the ex-wife is currently over age 62, she could be potentially entitled to Social Security divorced spouse benefits paid directly to her regardless of her ex-husband's wishes, desires, or divorce decree. If she files her retirement claim at full retirement age (between ages 65 and 68, depending upon her year of birth), she can get 50% of his monthly benefit. If she is under full retirement age and over age 62 when she files the retirement claim, that is considered early retirement and the 50% can be reduced by another 75%.

Example: Ex-husband benefit $1000. 50% $500. Spouse files at age 62 so monthly benefit is 75% of $500 or $375.

This answer does not address whether or not the state will award spousal benefits (alimony) to be paid to the divorced spouse. That is not a Social Security question. The state has guidelines, but the divorce court decides. Social Security spousal benefits are set by law and a divorce court cannot change the law. The divorce court would consider the length of the marriage as one factor in determining alimony. The wage-earner (husband in this example) cannot choose to not elect spousal benefits from Social Security if all requirements are met. When she does reach age 62, the amount she gets from Social Security divorced spouse benefits will not reduce the amount he receives. If he remarries, it doesn't change her entitlement since her marriage lasted over 10 years. The retirement divorced spouse benefits can be paid to her from age 62 until she dies, as long as she meets all other requirements.

Until she is age 62, she will not qualify for payment of Social Security divorced spouse benefits. And then she must apply. Alimony is at the discretion of the divorce court.