This is such a good topic. Over the years when I have had chronic pain, I have struggled much with this issue. In addition, we also have a special needs child and that has caused various personal issues.

Who do you tell? How do you explain away certain behaviors?

I guess what I have done is limit who I tell what to. I really don't open up to many people. Generally, I think what Mrs. D has said has also been my experience.

I think people tend to be preoccupied with their own issues. On top of that, many might struggle to really comprehend a pain issue if that has not been their own experience.

So, I pick and chose who I might open up to and even then, I might chose my words very carefully....limiting the full extent of the problem. I also think it is best to keep it short and sweet.

It's kind of a weird "dance" of sorts. I do NOT think a person should feel ashamed of their pain or deny it to anyone. Feeling embarassed or like some sort of second class citizen or like you (we've) been punished by pain and now to hide it from the world, is psychologically damaging.

I just think it might be wise to pick and chose who you might open up to and even then to lreasonably limit discussion....which actually has a variety of benefits...since I believe "what we think about expands."

Hopefully, there are one or two people in each of our lives that we can fully open up to.

Also remember, if you do share with another, you should be willing to be there for them when they have a need to open up about their personal concerns.