((( Mari & Barbara )))

I hope y'all's (don' mind my grammar now ) sleep gets sorted out too. Boy does it ever SUCK doesn't it??? Thanks for the wishes Barbara, i do hope things settle for me too.

I mean this time the drop from 25 to 0 did not seem to affect me like going 50 to 25. At that time, i was waking up every single freaking sleep cycle. and having horrible dreams. which of course, i would recall, every freaking time, given that i would wake up after the cycle.

Well, now i am waking up not as often maybe 2ce a night. but the dreams... ughhhh. characterized by repetition, anxiety, persecution and threats. i don't even want to post dream content because it could be upsetting to someone and i don't really have a need to post it, so i won't. just figure, nasty, icky, yucko, you-can-run-butcha-can't-hide dreams. last night less repetition in the dreams, but still baaaaad ones. blechhh. who wants to sleep when that's what you get?

Mari I actually started the Zoloft taper as part of my up and down based on my moods thing. See, when i run a temperature, i often have racing thoughts. and when i had that first bad bout of bronchitis with high fever right after Christmas, that happened. so i lowered my Zoloft just a notch to balance that out. when i ran a low temp with the second bout, that happened again, and i went down another notch. I also usually raise it before my menses just by 25 mg, to offset PMS depressive sx. I did that but i had to come back down because of the racing thoughts. so between this and that, i ended up, starting in late December,

tapering down from 100/125mg which was then my stable dose, down to 100, 75, 50, 25, and now ZERO. that is ample time for tapering... it takes a week for Zoloft to reach steady state, tapering every week is reasonable. i did so "prn" but with inferior frequency, especially the last two drops... i was at 50 for at least 2 weeks, and at 25 for i think 3 or 4 come to think of it, because if i recall i dropped to 25 with my last menses, which would be one month ago.... very slow taper.

At 50, we made a decision for me to come off Zoloft and the rest was tapering. The reason was doing consistently well and figured if i could do fine without the AD, so much the better. In general if there is no good reason to give a bipolar an AD, they should not be given it. Some docs draw a hard line and will not rx an AD for a bipolar person, even when depressed. My doc is not a hardliner, but the need for it has certainly become questionable.

I have been on it 5 years... that is a long time, and neurological changes occur... the brain adapts in function of the presence of the AD. That is one good reason to suspend it (slowly). Because it gradually loses effectiveness. If i get depressed again, i am more likely to respond after a period of not taking any AD.

i think the sleep interruption going from 50 to 25mg might have been related to the taper. The repetitious dreams are consistent with the removal of a drug which tends to quell repetitious thought processes (Zoloft is scripted for OCD), so that could be related to the Zoloft decrease. However, i still haven't looked into those links DiMarie gave in her thread wrt the limbic system, the definition and function of which have evolved since i was last given any "real" information on it... by my former pdoc.

As for my current upswing, that makes no sense in function of the Zoloft suspension. I suspect it is unrelated to the med change. Rather, i think i will need to be vigilant for breakthrough hypomania at this point.

I do see my pdoc weekly for therapy, so he will catch it too, even if i don't.

I think it is also a tough call at first to gauge when we are getting well - emerging from persistent bouts of depression and/or anxiety, and when we cross over into the "getting too well" - i.e. hypomanic territory.

i think as long as i am sleeping enough and i am, despite the awful dreams, i am probably ok. there are other "pilot" signs i can be mindful of too, but enough sleep will keep me more or less grounded.



~ waves ~