hi mark all

the out burst was a direct result of prozac and the frustration
at our situation it was probably good I got to wrestle with five cops that night, but the knee to the temple I could have done without, I just feel irritable all the time, but tend to take it out on objects, you see pcs is one set of symptoms which I have, but others are just plain weird, I some times can,t recognize objects so in have to think what the thing could be and come to a conclusion as to what I am looking at, and what it use is, this as you can imagine, is frustrating, but what I am finding is the more things I identify over and over , I then know what it is as I used to but , if I misidentify something that sicks too so I have to unlearn the mistake , I had alot of trouble with sauce pans and cu lenders I would mix them up which was a bit dangerous, you see both have handles and are similar shape,s

I am still waiting for nuro psych assessment' luckily I studied psychology to a high degree , but need to deal with the anger and the unjust situation I find myself in

I remember visiting a friend in the American military hospital in Berlin in the early 80s there was a British solder in the psych ward there, he had to sleep and carry a toy gun like a teddy bear, if they took it from him he would descend into his own personal hell through PTSD but its all a matter of degrees and I for one would not demean anyone by saying true PTSD because it implies others are false

as for my looks the hospital that fixed it is one of the best in the world the queen Victoria east grinstead they pioneered plastic surgery after WW2 and went in through my mouth and wriggle lines so not to bad, they had to remove some mashed temporal bone and fit plate over it my vision is impaired and due to sensory loss my face can drop on one side if allow it to

I know much about CSF leaks blood patches are only used on spinal leaks I also understand the concept of conservative treatment but CSF is corrosive to bone and tissue so if it dos ant stop leaking by its self surgery is the next option

I have won back my art by adapting my tools and method

I think it is so important that head injured people do not lean disablement but try to find ways round them as best they can , but as you point out more damage can be done , to adjacent structures within the brain if to much is attempted to soon as was the case with me

COVER UP is an insidious situation, in as much as it defiles justice , I would use this analogy .

In Maori culture they had a god named Utu is a Māori concept of a reciprocation or balance. To retain mana, both friendly and unfriendly actions require an appropriate response. Hence the concept covers both the reciprocation of kind deeds and the seeking of revenge.

this system kept the maori people at war for 400 yrs although it also has a good side

the old world concept of an eye for an eye must be replace by sentient justice for victims of crimes, not covered up to save face , it dident save mine, and the next person could end up dead , or I could be driven to take revenge