Barbara,
I'm worried about your nerves.
Can you find a way to calm down?
Somehow you really are going to deal with this stuff from the people there. In the meantime, it will be best if you can keep yourself in a good place emotionally and mentally. You'll be able to appreciate it more when it is all over anyway.
I don't know what tools you use, but we each have a few: sleeping, listening to music, drawing, walking, . . . Keep focused on the goal: good health for yourself.
I'm wishing you the best.
M.