Thank all of you for the good thoughts. I'm trying to get through the loss of Bill but it's very hard. I fight back tears a lot and bust out when people are talking to me.

I had my surgery yesterday. They took out scar tissue in my stomach and pelvic area.

DiMarie, I got my Prevacid back through my insurance company. I had written to **** Chaney and he helped me get it back. The company that makes it said I could also get it through them but I'm one that don't give up when it comes to fighting these people over my meds.

I try to figure out what causes that chest pain but I just can't. Right now it's calm but certain meds get it going. Devin was staining a gun stock the other day and that smell sat if off. Moving the wrong way sats it off. Certain foods sat it off. It's crazy. The Drs. can't figure out what is causing it and since it's in an area that they think it shouldn't be they don't know what to do for me and keep telling me that I can't have an ulcer here.

I do have my kids here DiMarie. Susan and her husband live about 7 miles from me. She is my caregiver so I see her at least 3 times a week. I have a lot of friends but no one can help a person go through this.

When I had surgery yesterday, one of my friends works in the operating room, she's a nurse. She also has RSD in her right foot. She came in to talk to me while I was waiting to have surgery. I had to fight back tears. I knew if I broke down they wouldn't do my surgery. She was telling me how she lost her dad two years ago and her Mom is just now getting better from it.

I'm by myself a lot. I have always delt with depression and panic attacks and suicidal tendencies so this is just an added plus to it. My family Dr. is helping me through it. He has always been there for me and Bill and he's sticking by me through this. He did the service along with the Undertaker at Bill's funeral. We couldn't get a minister due to the holidays so they both did it. They both knew Bill pretty well so it was a beautiful service. I have a lot of friends and adopted kids so I do have plenty of support but as I said I have to go through this alone.

Back to the chest pain. I know it's not anything to do with my heart. It's a sharp burning pain.

Ada