nik,

I kept on thinking about Lyn the past few days...

I had gotten really sick and I wondered what would happen, if moss would have to make the same decision that you'd had to...

in my now very conscious mind. I would hate to be in a home....in a place of unfamiliarity and where I have to deal with people that I don't know...and away from my dearest moss...

but then, it IS my dearest moss that I would worry and consider, how much of a burden I would've imposed on her and how I would affect her life...

I would sign a piece of paper, as a matter of fact, I am going to do it in actuality. That I would let moss make the decision of putting me in a home no matter how hard I resist it....

it is because I love her so very much....

I would want her to know that my deep deep love for her, that no matter how much I scream, yell, or cry that I want to go home. That as long as she knows that the home I am in will take care of me, that she will keep me there, no matter how heartbreaking it would be for her...

because in the simplest things that we do around the house, I find that we would argue who WOULD do the dishes rather than who SHOULD do the dishes....

two people that would argue to do the dishes because they love each other like we do would argue that we die for each other...

I BELIEVE that about you and Lynn....

I often think of Doctor Oliver Sack's book and I cannot remember which one...

he talked about how music heals and how music can also be painful..

I wonder if Lynn's resistance to music is based on something painful

yet, there IS a type of music that he loves....

YOUR VOICE

I dunno, thinking out loud here....maybe a couple of DVD's of you or a CD of your voice, singing to him or reading him a story and something

that when he's upset, that they can put in the DVD or the CD in for him?

within it all...I so much feel your pain...because I have been feeling a lost and pain all day today...and while it's different, I share your heartache with you....

((((BIG HUGS))))

and I am so thankful for everyone here...and for their support to you and of each other....