Ada,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I think people would understand perfectly if you break down. While it's hard to deal with a loss at any time, it seems to be even harder during the holidays. It'll be 2 years the day after Christmas since I lost my Dad and it was 2 yrs. in July since I lost my grandmother and it's still very, very hard. As for your symptoms (and I didn't go back and reread what everybody said so this might've already been mentioned), could you have a hiatal (sp) hernia? I think it's also called a hiatus hernia.