Sorry guys.

Im having a bad moment right now, here in my room....

It is one of those days when I hate myself.... I hate to look me in a mirror... I hate my life.... Wish i could change everything... I feel angry... I think I have done several mistakes and that they cant be solved...

One of those moments when Im not sure God exists... I dont think he listens to me in case he really exists...

I just... dont know... everything I think about, makes me cry, makes me want to quit...

I cant stand my parents... My father has another family and he has never accepted it....
I have always wanted a boyfriend, but in 25 years, I have had any...
My friends, I dont know if they are real... or if they are only "mates".... but not friends...

Everybody seems to be living their lifes and Im not included....

Im sick all the time... When Im not depressed, I have pain... When I cant sleep, nobody cares... my mother is always in her world, she thinks Im crazy, she thinks I exaggerate everything....

My father only thinks about money....

I dont have siblings... My 4 granparents died...

In my family the words "depression", "suicide", are just... stupidities... exaggerations... nothing serious...

I feel like everybody is tired of me...

I dont have money to go and see my doc... My skin hurts, my nose bleeds... I cant open my eyes coz they are too dry...

I just wish I was somebody else....

Tired of myself...

I wish I could simply turn off the light and never need to turn it on again...

Thanks for reading.