Thankyou, Wish and Addy.
Love to you both.

Actually I do know what I am going to do, but my problem was that some other people seemed to think that wasn't the right thing to do (or maybe it wasn't what *they* would do and of course, they're not me lol) and so I found that confusing and unsure if my thinking about all this was flawed or something. You see, I'm not even curious really to learn about these people or meet them. I already know all I need to know about myself at this point in time and certainly about my father. They wouldn't know anything about him. I'm not even curious really to learn about these people. It's got nothing to do with finding out anything sad or bad about my mother, it's just that I feel intruded upon at this time in my life. There is nothing that they can tell me about anyone except my mother and I figure why has it taken them almost 50 years to contact me. I wasn't aware they existed. These people are not my age, they're a lot older than me. I don't wish to have contact and I feel that is my right.

I totally understand what you've said, Wish. When I was your age I was much more open to finding out things but back then I had no-one to ask. It's just that I feel I've reached a time in my life now where I don't have those questions anymore.

I no longer have the need to fill in those blanks. I no longer feel less than whole by not knowing things about my mother like I did for years as a child. I feel all this is a good thing but was really just curious about what others thought because someone in my life suggested that contacting these people was something that I should do... almost as if it was for their sake rather than mine. Maybe they are the people trying to fill in the blanks. I don't know. They're total strangers to me.

I also feel it's a little late and a little rude for people to be contacting my former husband about such a private matter concerning me. He doesn't seem to think so! Surely if I had wanted contact I would have done that the first time they left their details with him and he passed them on to me. I don't really care whether it's good, bad or just regular old information. That's not really what I'm thinking about, it's more that I don't feel as if I'm in a place where I need to go down that path anymore. I did once, but that was a long time ago... if that makes sense to anyone except me.