Hi Dana,
Thanks for the good advice for the boys. I haven't talked to them about Bill because I didn't know if it was what I should do. I do know that Travis and Susan has sat them down and talked to them. Travis has a way with that. He's just their stepfather but he worships the ground those two walk on and he deals with each issue as it comes up. Susan leaves a lot of things for him to talk to them about. I wanted to the other night but then I thought no, I'd better not.

They are just so use to him sitting in the livingroom with them watching TV with them that I just kept thinking they might be going through some grief over him not being with them.

Your right about the house also. I will wait awhile to make the decision on anything with the house. Travis wants to pay it off in January so I don't have to worry about not being able to make it and he says if I want to rent it out it would be more money for me to live on. I just hate the thought of leaving here though. Bill and I worked our buts off on this house to get it just the way we wanted it. We both just had disability coming in but we were always so sufficent. He got a lot done before he passed so I only have one more minor thing to get fixed about it.

I have talked to two people that told me horror stories about people moving in with them so I'm thinking no on that one anyway.

I am dreading Christmas without Bill. We have so many traditions that when we go to do them, it's going to be hard to keep from crying in front of the kids.

I have offered my house again this year for the dinner. Last year it was friends and family and year before last the same so I thought I'd let everyone bring dishes as always and go from there. I always end up sick though on that day. I cannot eat the rich foods that comes with Christmas. I just thought if I was kept busy it wouldn't be so hard.

I have been fighting back tears a lot but when I'm alone I cry a lot. Councelling is helping me a lot to talk about Bill.

Thanks to all of you for the well wishes.

Love,
Ada